Wednesday, February 3, 2016

Life @ Kota.

In a country where politics is baked on selected suicide, scores of suicide remains untouched unnoticed and silent. Why? Because here you will not gain any political advantage, students are not from any particular class or community they are from different corners of the country. The naïve mind has just heard of something called IIT, AIEEE, AIIMS, AIPMT and many other highly competitive exams. With a hope to clear out and fare well lakhs of student every years come to KOTA. The race begins. The big coaching classes Allen, Career Point, Vibrant, Bansal, Narayana and many others with their claims and results are there to enroll into.
The classes start at 7 am to 2 pm for morning shift and 2 pm to 8 pm for evening shift. I was also there like lakhs of other student. Yes, the environment is very tight and monotonous. Students and teachers hurrying up for the classes as if they are going for some missile launch at a research center. You get up in the morning, get ready for classes, have ‘poha and chai’ on the way, then five to six hours of classes with one break in between for 10 to 15 min and finally classes over at 2. You reach room have the lunch which is placed by tiffin service on your door hours before or you enroll at some nearby mess. Then you have loads of assignments, sheets and drills and revisions to be made. You study till evening, go out for some snacks and then again sit to complete assignment and finally have dinner and sleep out. This cycle goes on and on. There are monthly tests, where topper would hardy get 50-50% and mediocre 20-25%, and many would be between 1-20%. Till tenth below 90% was not less than a scar. I remember my first test, I got 1 marks in Maths and somewhat between 15-18% overall. I was like f***, but I consoled myself and felt better that this low marks was securing around 500 rank among 2000 students of J-batch. I decided not to tell my parents about my test result as it was very first test and took oath to prepare well for next time, so started studying harder. Few days later got call from dad; he asked to come back if you do not understand things there and leave preparation for engineering. At first I could not understand why he was talking like that, I have no idea that institute sends message to parent’s registered number as the test result declares out. His resentment was normal, to any parent seeing marks like 1/150 and percentage like 15,19,33,25 is disturbing. Many of you may frown on reading this but for those who had been to Kota it’s quite normal. What could I speak out; I was not a dumb student 90+ scorer in 10th board and 80+ at 12th board. This must not be just my story or this was not just what would have happened to me but many others or lakhs of other and many would have gone through far worse situation. Next test I got 5 in Maths and over all percentage increased a bit but I never scored more than 30% throughout the year. Kota chapter ended I could not clear IIT or AIEEE, but state level exam and pursued with a private college. Let’s look at it like this suppose 1.5 lakhs students arrived at Kota, if we add dropper lets add another 1 lakh, so total 2.5 lakhs. There are around total 10,000 seats in IITs, NITs 20,000, AIPMT 4000, AIMS 50, lets add another 5,000 for margin, totaling to 35,4050. Idealize a situation that all these seats are filled by students from Kota even then there are 2 lakhs student left. What should they do? Many of them would not be from good background and have many other problems of this adverse life.

What should they? Look out for some rope, or head toward Chambal Ghati??

You decide in a moment that ending up your life is the end of all your problems and troubles. You go to market buy a rope or razor blade, come back to your room and close the door from inside and next you end up. Have you ever thought what happens next, no? At evening your phone rings, your mom calls to check if you have returned from class, what was there in lunch today at the mess and others things. Unanswered, she thinks you might have slept out or gone to bathroom or market and have forget to take phone once again. Your tiffin wale bhaiya comes and delivers tiffin at door. Next morning he comes to deliver tiffin and finds the preceding one heavy, think you didn’t have it, maybe you ate outside. Next day again mom calls and gets no answer she is anxious now, but since it your class time she thinks you are at class. Again the tiffin wale bhaiya delivers the dinner and finds the lunch not taken. He gets suspicious, try to peep through closed window. He hears the phone’s ring from the inside of your closed room. He goes upstairs to inform your aged landlord upstairs. They comeback to break into your door and find the phone still ringing. With phone in his hand and eyes at your lifeless body, the old landlord reads the screen ‘Mummy calling…”. He picks up the phone before he could speak hello it’s your mom scolding “kha the beta, kab se call kar rhi hu tmko, kal bhi bat ni hui, tbiyat to theek hai”. Your landlord feels a lump in his neck to speak out anything and it’s your mom speaking out your name from other side and she hears the voice of old landlord saying ‘your son is no more ’. She could not believe what she just heard and asked in fury with tears in her eye ‘who are you?’ As the landlord tries to describe the situation she faints down unconsously. Your younger brother comes running hearing your moms cry to find her lying on floor. He shouts for dad, who is watching television in another room. He picks up the phone, your landlord is still there on line, they talk and your father sits down on sofa there, holding the handle tightly as if he is struck it a cyclone and preventing himself from getting blown away by the cruel winds. Your brother, who is younger to you, could not understand what is happening. He is afraid, and is trying to wake up mom. He knows nothing but he starts crying out of fear. Few minutes later as your fathers gains some strength he starts making call to some of your local relatives there at your home town and inform them your demise and ask them to come home. It’s only now that your younger brother knew exactly what has happened. Why mom is laying unconscious on floor and why tears are coming out of dad eye who is looking too tensed. He too starts crying, now very heavily. He tries to recollect your face actually he was waiting since long and it was only one month and twelve days left for your Diwali vacation. He had planned to play NFS with you and win every challenge at NFS as he had become very apt in it and has cleared all the stages. He also wanted to complain about two senior guys at school who bullied him as you have passed out the school and gone to Kota after completing twelfth. This was your small brother’s expectations from you and you (even me) have no ideas what dreams and plans your mom and dad has associated with you. Seeing you graduating from a good college was just a small part or fraction of that bigger plan. Though they wanted that you went to best of best college they would not have felt this bad if you have not made from these premier institute. Or even if you have not been able to become a doctor or engineer they would not have felt this bad because they had seen many others dreams and you were their hero, their life. You thought you are ending all the problems.  See, what pain you have given to your most beloved one your mom, your dad and your younger brother. You made their life a burden man, a hell. Every other thing except these three would get back to normal within few days. The room in which you ended up would be occupied by some other aspirant at Kota. Your coaching would be fine as usual. But these three would miss you forever till they breathe their last. You were so selfish and stone hearted to not to think about them and ran away from small problem.
Yes small problem. What would have happened if you didn’t cleared even a single exam. Sachin failed thrice at tenth. Kya hua? Steve Jobs dropped out, Bill Gates dropped out, Edison dropped out. Leave them these are big name, go to your locality and see how many fared well at academics but you will find many of them living a great life.
Life has a deeper meaning and you have no right to end it up. It’s not bravery. Bravery is to try and strive for best and never losing hope even if you fail repeatedly. Bravery is to face every failure boldly.
Look into the mirror and just smile, you will find great strength and support in any adverse situation. Just try it once if you don’t believe me. Your smile is killer. Killer of negativity.

Sunday, November 8, 2015

Disconnect to connect…!!!

We are a busy generation, aren’t we? Thanks god, we are born in this era of mobile communication revolution. The whole world of www is on our figure tips. Every one of us, including me has the power to make any information reach the whole world in a fraction of seconds. We are always in touch of others through Facebook, Whatsapp or Twitter and tons of other media. Have you ever thought how this whole phenomenon of virtual connection is affecting us? Well, I guess most of us, at some point of time in their life have felt it. Yes, it’s true that as of our human nature we observe shortcomings of others very easily than ours.
“It was a simple time, as could feel, slower too...”
If you’re born in 90s or before, you can remember how it was, a time before mobile phones, iPad’s and computers arrived. It was a simple time, as I could feel, slower too. Probably, because every moment was lived, yes lived. I remember how interesting were those days when we used to socialize with our cousins after a long time at some special occasion or get-togethers. I realized it recently, at one such occasion when every one of us was busy with our phones surfing facebook and whattsapp. In those old days, we mostly use to hang outside and enjoy things like playing some outdoor or indoor games, cycle rides and all. Let me share an observation, while travelling by public transport after work I mostly look outside the window and notice one very common scene. In most of the car carrying members of a family, everyone except the driver are seen to be engaged in same activity. I hope you can guess. So, many of us must have observed scenarios like this.
“The pings or ringtones…”
I believe all of us who are overly attached to the gadget either knowingly or unknowingly are not living any moment at fullest. So what is that creating the fuss, “the pings or ringtones” creating the very moment of disconnect. You hear a ping, and mini-moment of disconnect is created, as we abandon the people we were in conversation with, engaged with, eating with.  We land somewhere else with someone else. How good is this? But we make such mistakes, don’t we? It has changed the meaning of being together. Compare it with a situation when you are at a party, talking to someone and his eyes are scanning the crowd, sometime over the gate, sometimes towards the fountain for someone. The very next moment you realize that he is less interested in you, so you just give an excuse and try to move on to find someone who can be with you, with whom you can share things.
Now doubt these gadgets are inevitable in establishing communication and they are extremely powerful. Yes, power comes with conditions of its own. Power can be addictive to a level of destruction. The addiction should be checked out for it leads to doom. Let’s be judicious in use of these streams. The rat race of useless facebook post, as if you are getting paid off to put every single detail of your life online. Grow up man, live your life for the sake of living and not for sensational post and broadcast.
Connect with the people around your surroundings, share with them, instead of hanging out on virtual chats and those group chats. The neighbor next door, the guard, the next door children, your parents and relatives with whom you live with, that old and gentle couple, talk to them, share smile with them, they will surely smile back unlike your mobile screen which never returns your smile back to you.   
I know it’s hard to implement, neither for me nor for you, but not that hard as realization is first step to change. Watch this small video, I found it on YouTube.
Thank you very much for reading! If you enjoyed the post, be awesome and hit share button below or write some comment to share your feeling to keep me motivated to write.

Tuesday, September 1, 2015

Tiring days..!!

One busy day, while laying on bed at night after turmoil and all running from post to pole, I was feeling weak. I pondered, is this life, getting up early hurrying to get ready, reaching bus stop, office, again bus stop, marketing, home, study, dinner and then sleep and the repeating cycle. The pain in muscles of leg, hand, neck and back adding headaches to me. Is this what life should be?

Then one day just opposite happens all free I was for the whole day. Getting up late at 9, no bath, Facebook , Twitter, WhatsApp, chatting, then walk at evening, dinner and then to bed. To my surprise I was again, not happy!! I thought, I should be happy, but not, I was even more sad. Spending a day without challenge, task, without some growth seems suffocating.

This day spent without any challenge and hardship made me grateful to all the hectic, tough, toiling and tiring day to come. Attitude matters. I am ready for you the tough day, with all open arms.

Going to bed with pain and strains in nerves is WORTH..!!

Sunday, August 23, 2015

19th July, 15'( ugliest day of my life),the day you passed away..

Everyone who has come here has to go, one day, some day, leaving all attachments, everything. You too went away, without giving us anytime, hastily. Yes, you were never slow, you were electric, always lively, always inspiring. Wherever you went, you created a life in moment, there was truly an aura in your personality, charge flew out of you.

"Keep Fit..Keep Fighting...Keep Smiling", beta( son ) you always repeated on phone. From whom I would seek those lessons and direction.
You were there in every low time with your counseling and words, specially during my stay at Kota, those frustrating days of preparations. The long phone calls we had would not be there anymore.
With time we would get strength and conviction to live, without you, as life has to go on. But these days and nights are fearful as if life has lost its motive and direction. We are moving like that conductor of bus, who is on journey everyday but has to go nowhere.
Though you are always  alive in our heart, our conscience, our thought, but life is never the same. Success and achievement in life to come are not going to that special without your presence and your long list of blessings. Especially, the birthday's to come would be missing your long and exaggerated blessings that you used to pour on phone calls. Same would be missed every new year, every Diwali, holi, every good and bad occasions.

Life has to go on, and we have to learn to walk without your support, your constant encouragement, your wishes. There were things to be shared, moments to be cherished, things to be learnt.

Sunday, July 5, 2015

Are we really average of five??

Most of the time we have been directed by our elders to be in good friend circle and to have good company. You must have seen your parents disappointed seeing you with some bad companion, friend or group. Do our peer really affects us?

  While I was trying to figure it out I went through various writings by motivational guru. I came through a principal which says " You are the average of five people you associate with most". There were many others who tried to prove this wrong and many who supported it. Thats good a coin has its two side.
Well those who opposed, argued that most of the time we live with our family members mom, spouse, dad, brother etc. etc...or with coworkers, colleagues at work, school, college etc. etc. etc.... Is it justifiable to leave these practically inseparable part of our live for the reason that they are not so competent as you consider yourself? Mom, I can't live with you, though you are BESTEST mom, but you are not a business tycoon and since I am trying to hone entrepreneur in me, you don't fit.. :) :)
Similarly with dad, close friend etc. etc.etc...

But, I don't see these as true reasoning rather they seem to be negative criticism. We must have feel this personally that people, their company do effect us. I tried to think of different place I have been in life, two different schools, a coaching, graduation college, workplace and how the people with whom I interacted or associated more effected me. You too try this.
Imagine yourself being in a group which always talks of low value things of pity relevance, complaining and discussing about someones shortcomings etc.etc., things which are not valuable in any sense. If you would stick with them, aren't you going to be like them??
Now suppose you hangout with group of friends who have fruitful, valuable discussion on varied topic entrepreneurship, technology, trend, investment etc.etc.etc. Wouldn't it be beneficial??
Why do some particular college or institute have different products. On an average you can easily find difference in attitude of particular student group..lets take UPTU/PTU verses IIT, IIT/NIT verses MIT/HARWARD..

So  according to my opinion is  there is no need to disconnect with the vitals or inseparable part of your life( cos they are the most beautiful part of your life, your roots, your family, relatives, your school/college friends)[ notes- unless they are really detrimental and negative..]
Do have time for them as and when needed without any compromise.

But, do expand your circle with those more knowledgeable, smarter and talented than you. They are going to teach you a lot in life to move ahead. In the process of competing and sharing with them you would improve and improve yourself to better a you..!!!

So start searching, hunting and associating the 5..of whose average you want to be :)

Friday, July 3, 2015

From that careless college life to hectic corporate life..

College life to hectic corporate life..

In life there are various transitions that takes place & this transition phase is always very special, remarkable, memorable in various sense.
Remember the first time when you were moved out to school, those nursery class. The all carefree environment of home ends to the disciplined boundary of school, the classes, queue, timetables, teachers and all. Waking up daily, hurried up my mom for bath, breakfast and finally to bus, which lands you to the place you hated. Slowly the year passes and school become your very beautiful part of life, yours friends, mates, gossips, fight, crushes and all.
Such a very drastic, I would say challenging turn takes in our life when we join corporate world after the end of our college.

Well in India when most of my generation chose engineering, how could I miss? Yes, the four year of B.Tech life was “LIFE” (missing college life means missing life).
The inspirational line at college “ Ab ni krega to kya college khatm hone pr krega” moves you to do every shit thing. The late night discussion, birthday bumps, bunking, college fests, gaming, the groupings, last moment preparations at semesters ends and all. This is how your college life winds up and you get placed in some organization.
From the carefree protected world you are now in all real world which is not going to be protective in any sense. This is when you are going to experience lot of changes:


The deadlines to be met..!! From now you are going to be assigned with various responsibilities to be completed in a given time frame. Deadlines at college were met by copying assignment at the last moments, that's not going to work here any more.


At college you never cared to reach classes on time. The first lecture was seldom attended by most of the folks. At office you punch in and punch out the biometric, 10 minutes exceeding your time you 
are on half day payment.

Worth of money:

Till the college your ATM is your Dad, account filled at the first week of month, never giving you chance to realise how the hard earned money all comes.
At job life you know the value of every penny you earned with hard work.


At college you never cared for those helping hand, the professors who used to force for benefits of yours. Always ready to clear up your doubts. At work no-one is available to help you out, everyone is overburdened with their own responsibilities and work.

No bunking:

At college, it was all your will to attend a lecture or to bunk it. All you needed to fulfill a given minimum criteria to keep away from any detention. Also you have friends for proxy.
Now you need prior approval on leave slip, with your boss's eyebrows always raised for the reasons.

Self egos, arrogance to be eaten up:

While you are a trainee, you are sure to make mistakes, get scolded sometimes, sometimes you get played tricks being accountable for things someone else did wrong. Sometimes you would be asked for some petty work like getting documented photocopied or scanned. 
But off all these you can't go arrogant or lessen your interactions cos more you interact more you would learn from those experienced one..

If you have forgotten your college life watch this video..

Monday, March 9, 2015

The Red Cycle..

..While sitting in veranda this sunny day of early summer alone ,my mind was drifting to past. In the solitary, chirping sound of  bird, rattling of dried leave on trees nearby, I went back to the childhood era of my small town. It was the bicycle of my small nephew, which took me there. Every child has his bicycle as best buddy, so was mine, red, almost similar one, but with lots of stickers of Aladdin, Mickey mouse, Donald duck and other characters from my only tv show 'Disney hour' that I had pasted all over it. We would be together after school everyday, roaming around the dusty summer road of my muhalla, with other children from neighborhood. Toiling on it some more distances to reach school friend who lived next block. I remember how I have to wait endlessly in case it got punchered, creating a kind of small hurricane in home to get it done anyhow, as the mechanic shop was on the other side of road. 
Bathing it every sunday,then oiling every nook and corner of it to make it shine. This is how our friendship was, I don't remember when we seprated,probably when I moved to boarding school, it was sold out to kabadawala, after it got rusted being lonely on roof..!!
...You would be missed!!